Saturday, July 8, 2017

Journey to the Self - Accumulated and Hoarded Baggages for Decades

Part 2
#July 072017

Posted the first part of my personal journal “Travelling and throwing baggage on the road” on Facebook last July 2nd  with concluding statement to be continued…

On the eve of the day that I posted it some close friends who cannot wait for the continuation of my journal chatted me in eagerness to know how am I faring.  On the following days others told me they are waiting for the said continuation.

Though I have shared it with loved ones and close friends and been busy during the week as always, I am compelled to continue with what I have started to post. As promised here is the continuation now, the same hot dish I have served to those whom I have shared this..

 Part 2: Accumulated and Hoarded Baggages for Decades

The most difficult part in writing a personal journal or autobiography is the responsibility of caution, caution not to slander the people involved in the circumstance, of not bringing those who hurt you in an arena where they are not present to defend themselves.

Much as I wanted to share my story with inspiration that others may learn something from it, I will take the shoes of the newscasters and reporters in bringing information. I will have to be objective and share the experiences as it happened, as factual as it is.

To my father, second wife and siblings, should I deviate from my position above and unintentionally take the shoes of commentators and be subjective, my advanced apology. Much as I wanted not to offend anyone in my journal, my apology should anyone be offended. This IS my story, and what I am writing is MY life…
  
I am the firstborn child and grew up with my younger brother in our grandparents’ house. My mother is their 4th child amongst seven siblings. As early as five years old I have come to know that unlike my cousins who have their fathers with them, my brother and I have a father but we seldom see.

In our growing years it was our grandparents who provided for us, and sometimes with support from our uncles.

I remember I renounced toys in my childhood. Since there was no father to buy toys for us, we just borrowed and played toys of our cousins, but borrowing and playing toys with cousins becomes source of sibling fights. At a very young age I did not want to become like a beggar to my cousins’ toys. I grew up an unusual child, not fond of playing, and very fond of reading. In reading I had my own world, no cousins to fight with me, I renounced their toys and they don’t get my books or anything I’m reading.  In that way there would be no fighting between us. 

I grew up with the attitude of “I don’t mind if it’s not mine, and no one should touch with what is mine”. I hated being given materials things by my uncles and be taken back by my cousins’ mother, for reason that it should be for my cousins first. At an early age I learned to clarify first my ownership when things are handed down to me.

I value so much anything that was established as mine. As a growing child I realized that the sources of blessings and anything that I will have are given by my grandparents and relatives, gifts given as really mine, prize for games, bought by money given to me and payment to my little labors.

When I got married and built my own family I value so much all of my childrens’ belongings. How I value anything that we acquire went to the extent of not throwing anything even those already destroyed and of no use anymore. More than half of our house contents are my hoardings for the past decades, and becoming a source of anguish to my children. One of my daughters would question why on the world can’t I throw even a destroyed doormat.

As we travelled back home when we visited our old and sick father last July 1st, I said my brother and I had deeper sharings and testimonies, and we unloaded our hearts with burdens carried for many years. I myself threw my biggest baggage on the road, the pain of growing up without a father. I felt relief and not just counted but accounted my blessings, that I am what I am now, and I am made this kind of a mother, because I grew up without a father and I see to it that my children will not experience what I have been through.

As I arrived home and as days passed by, looking at the house where we live filled with hoarded baggages I came to understand why this is so. I hoarded everything that we acquired for many years because I was so attached to them, as if they are measures of my self worth. Things that are mine sort of gave me sense of importance, that our father failed to give us.

Now I see these hoarded baggages don’t serve their purpose anymore. As I threw my soul’s biggest baggage on the road, I’m on for a big clearing up of the house, detaching material baggages to the self that I’m finding free and going happier.      

To me: Happy clearing. To my children: Yes, joy to the world!

Thank you for reading. Thank you for your time...

Next epidode:
Part 3:  Breaking the Generation Curse 

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